Afraid to Fall.

I'm reading this book and it's supposed to give you some kind of guidance on your life. I suppose it works... But I only found that it does when you spend lots and lots of time figuring out how it applies. I'm kinda miffed that I can't just figure it all out when I read it the first time-or even the second time.

Dang it! Shouldn't I just have everything on demand?!?!

Oh wait. If I had everything on demand I would never realize that I am forever deprived of the essential tool to live. Trying to figure out what that is. Okay, we need food, and we need water, and I am pretty sure we need love.

Maybe in a different order. Need: Love-Water-Food.

Some can live without water for a day, and some without food. But imagine an entire day without love.

That would be enough to kill me forever.

I've come to find that if I want love I need to give, and to give fearlessly.

Oooh. Fearlessly. That's a dangerous word. Or is it? Sometimes I'm afraid to be fearless because pride will get in the way. Wait...AFRAID TO BE FEARLESS???

Oh my gosh. It's the truth though, isn't it. I just realized it's pride that gets in the way of living without fear. Step aside of yourself, Lena.

I just need to love. I just need to live, and I just need to stop this never ending cycle of pondering whether or not being fearless will work out.

It's like i'm sitting on a rock near a cliff wearing a flying squirrel suit and I know I'm gonna be fine it's just that I am so afraid to make the initial plunge into the freedom of falling for what I really want. Thank God for having such amazing people in my life to grab my hand, and drag me to the edge to simply say,

"What are you waiting for?"