The Hunger of Mortality

The greatest struggle I have in life is within myself.

I am trapped inside of me. My spirit is alive but resides in the existence of a mortal physique, in so much longing to escape the agony from sensual hungers of my flesh. Sometimes I lay, alone in my room, battling the thoughts and feelings overwhelming me. I cannot go on unless I give in. So I do. I give in, as if it is the only way to move on with life. To capture a glimpse of satisfaction--that would set me free. But only for a moment do I find myself relieved of stress and pain. It shatters. the feeling goes away, the pain returns and the enemy is laughing all along at the sight of it! My spirit cries out in remorse. I do not want this! I cannot master it! Please Help. Save me. I can't avoid this. Not on my own, anyways. It is conspicuous that evil overcomes me every time I crumble, and the truth is, I always go on living. I go on living with the additional ensnarement of guilt and shame. Then I repent. I'm forgiven. I go on a few days, a few weeks, a month without allowing myself to commit this selfish deed... and then the temptation returns to me, even stronger than before. While the Spirit is growing stronger within me, so does the intimidating provocation of my flesh to my enduring soul. I go under once again. I am sick. Why? Why do I face this? It's building a wall of self pity and anguish. My heart is beating and spiritually bleeding. One day my flesh will lay to rest and I will no longer have this fight. For some time I could not understand the fight I was facing. Why I wanted so much to do what my body so much "required of me." It's all a bunch of deceptive lies. Filthy lies that make me stumble into facing the greater depths in the pit of my carnal mortality. Still I could not find an answer or explanation of my weakness.

I read this passage today, and it made complete sense to why I have been struggling so very much from the pattern of sin I have been in. The spirit spoke to me through the words, teaching me what I had so desperately needed to hear. I'd read it before but I never applied it in my own life. Now I think that these words will resound in my mind the next time temptation comes around, and when it haunts me agin, I will overcome evil with good.

Click to read passage.

Uncharitable Expectations

The people of every nation stood before the Almighty Lord at the end of time, with anticipation of the ultimate discovery-- "our names are surely inscribed in the book of life." I could not fathom the number of mortal men and women arranged in this line, expecting, with ease, to cross the threshold into paradise as they approached the pearly gates of Heaven. Oh, how distressing it would be, I thought, when the self indulgently confident individuals came to approach their uncharitable expectations and were undoubtedly and lucidly by declined of their defenseless petition of reclamation to the refined providence of paradise. As much as they endeavored, there was no toleration of any appeal or bribe.

It had been too late.

Mourning and wailing of the powerless souls began to ring in the ears of every individual that had denied Christ, the Savior of their unbelieving souls. Their rejection of redemption through God's grace and their lack of remorse of their wickedness handed over the key of their hearts to the King of Lies, who like blazes, carried into the depths of eternal damnation their souls to the lake of fire. Their immortal spirit would eternally receive the justified consequences of their sensual transgressions executed in their one and only chance to live. Each soul reminisced about their life on earth, comparing it to heaven in contrast to the place where they would die forever. Their souls embraced eternity, as their life became forever perishable by the flame in the depths of the bottomless pit of the abyss.

Repent of your sins and walk with God. He loves you and has saved the world from this torment and inevitable consequence by the sacrifice of his one and only perfect son. He lived and died for you. God, himself, died for the ungodly, so that we may have life through Jesus Christ. I could not stand going to heaven knowing that I ever ignored someone or never shared this truth with them, realizing that I may never ever see again some of the people I know today. Christ finished the puzzle. We were all separated from God because of sin and Christ provided a way to accessing God the Father. Christ was the Perfect sacrifice, with no blemish or sin. His perfection granted us the way to everlasting life if we confide in him and turn from our selfish ways in dying spiritually so that the Holy Spirit may dwell in us. We have the second half and gift of his puzzle of responding to him through our part of a relationship with him. Not all will chose this life but I can say that one day I will spend eternity with many others who are resting their souls in the peace and love of God's everlasting Kingdom. Join me. Live for Christ now so you won't be the soul that does not exist in the book of life.

Poisoned by Bitterness, Bound by Iniquity

“Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you. For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity.” -Peter in Acts 8:22-23

Note: Simon wanted only to escape the consequences of sin. He was unwilling to repent and receive forgiveness. He also wanted the power to heal as well. He was before filled with anger and resentment, bound by the acts of lawless and immoral behavior. Lawlessness.

“And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, they were multiplied.” Acts 9:31

Note:Saul, who previously persecuted the believers had an encounter with Jesus in a vision, and received Christ as his Lord and Savior. He escaped death and came to join the disciples, but they feared him. Since Christ had revealed himself to Barnabas, he assured them that Saul was being truthful in what he said. The disciples thus walked in the fear of the Lord and the Comfort of the Spirit.

Saul wanted all the stuff that God had to offer: cool super powers to grant people the gift of the Holy Spirit, and to pretty much escape the wrath of God. Meanwhile he was persecuting the very God whom from he was asking of all these things. People do this all the time!!!

“Dear God,

I want to live a happy life with warm fuzzies and a happily ever after ending that results from the awesome stuff that you gave me up until that point, because all I really want is for you to bless me and just forget about all the stuff that I am doing and the sins I am committing despite everything you are doing for me in love and in favor of my life because I am your child and favored one. I love you too, so will you help me find a 20 dollar bill on the sidewalk or help me find my keys??? Maybe I will have good luck today since I prayed for it. I'm just going to sit here and complain about all the stuff you never do for me, and well, I don't really care that I don't get up and do things for myself and others because I'm just concerned for the well being of my self and my life. You would be so proud of me I fed 17 homeless people this month and brought 6 friends to church and brought my bible with me wherever I went! I even wore my cross necklace to make sure every one knows that I am a Christian. The other day I walked this little old lady across the street. Man, did I feel good after that! My friend is really sick. I told her that maybe she wasn't reading her bible enough or that she wasn't going to church, and all that stuff is really important if you want God to love you. I'm such a good person. One day when I meet you I will get to show you all the things I did! Talk to you tomorrow at 9:30 am. Right before I take off for church. I'm bringing a friend tomorrow so maybe I will help her feel better by doing so.

Your best friend,

Sandra”

What I am getting at is this.....

Everyone wants things for selfish reasons. Whether they be born again believers or not, there is a difference between the true follower and the false convert. Many “born again believers” will probably pray just like this. They don't care what God has to say, and won't do the things he says to do. They don't even listen. They just talk.

In fact, there is not one bit of evidence that God is in their lives because they just want him to sit aside and watch. God is greater than that, he doesn't just want to sit on the sidelines. He wants to be in the game of our lives.

God knows that trying to work our way to the top on our own will end in failure because we can never do anything to impress him, nor can we do anything that surprises. There is nothing new under the sun. Our sinful hearts outweigh the good things we will ever do, and it is obvious that many “born again believers” have a lack of a relationship with God because they fail to recognize the sacrifice that was made for them and the repentance from sin that they are required to act out in their lives in order to be seen as blameless in God's eyes. In order for someone to be set free of their condemnation and death, which is the consequence of sin, they need to believe that Christ is the Son of God, and that he gave his life, as a man, on the cross, in sacrificial love to cover the blemish of sin from the hearts. God created us to be in a relationship with him.

False converts will give you a life long list of things you should do to earn God's love. The plain truth is that no one can earn it. It is a gift and it is the only thing on this whole earth that makes sense to why we live the way we do and what will happen if we ignore the love that God has for us. Like a father or mother that would abhor to see the pain and agony of abuse and torment that a child molester would unleash upon their one and only offspring, God has no desire for us to be tormented and treated like a pile of nothingness by the Devil in the eternal damnation that our lives are bound for in the everlasting affliction of Hell.

Ensnared by the deception of the serpent in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve along with the rest of their descendents became destined to hell because of the fall of man. Their sin overcame the everlasting life that God planned out for them. God no longer wanted to see them live the way they did. That is why he kicked them out of the garden. It wasn't because he was mad. God was afraid that man would eat from the tree of life, and live forever in condemnation. Perfection is not deserving of death or torment. There had to be separation of God and man from then on. God's curse on the Serpent was that he would strike his heel, but he would crush his head. Sin would crush mankind but Christ would defeat death by the venomous deception of the sinful nature. There was no more perfection and no more paradise in the Garden.

God could not walk the earth any longer with Adam and Eve because his holiness was and will always be separated from sin. That garden was no longer paradise because of the infection of sin within the hearts of man. God guarded the tree of life from all human beings and came up with a better plan. Think of that. God had to come up with another plan. Whoa. So one day, a few thousand years later, guided and planned out through the decent of the Jewish nation and the providence of prophecy, God's son would die on a tree, setting us free from the everlasting spiritual death and torment that we deserve. In believing in Christ and repenting from sin, we can eat from the tree of life.

On one side it seems selfish for me to say that I am saved. Anyone who is saved in any circumstance at least deserves saving. Quite frankly I don't deserve anything more than death. Anything above hell is a gift if you think about it. We are living now. We didn't even have to live. But we have that gift, and it is indispensable. Life with God is eternal. God is like us in that he came into the world, lived like we do, and died like we all will. The complete difference is that he rose again and received the punishment of death which we so rightly deserve, not him!!! We can also rise again because he already paid the price for our iniquities which we are enslaved by every day of our lives. Only by the blood that he shed on the tree of life will we also live forever. The thing that we have to do is live sacrificially in dying to ourselves and living for Christ. We must decrease as he increases, and he above ourselves must be glorified in everything that we do. Those who are true followers of Christ have been granted the power to do things greater that Christ. He even said that we would, and that is because we are filled with the holy spirit at the moment of repentance in our hearts. He lives in us!!! Not just a thought or a ghost floating around. He is actually in our lives. In our hearts.

Turning away from sin means nothing more than turning to Christ. The opposite of sin is righteousness. Instead of dying, we will live. It is a great enough gift that we are not already in hell. He gave us a life to figure things out. It's not really that difficult to understand. What is difficult is the persecution that comes. But that's not too bad, is it? Christ received the greatest persecution of all, and anything less than what he went through is the extent of God's saving grace.

Like in the scripture above, Peter said to Saul that he was bound by iniquity and poisoned by bitterness. Bitterness is defined as being angry, hurt, and resentful, or even acrimonious. Sound like the characteristics of sin??? The word poison was used by Peter to describe the saturation of sin's doing. The venomous deception of the serpent in the garden poisoned all mankind, infecting them with an illness that would lead to death. Sin canceled out perfection, and perfection could only be transferred upon mankind again, only if someone greater than the power of sin could make the sacrifice and pay the consequence that we deserve for our wrongdoings. God has no acquaintance with sin, so therefore his is above it. Christ lived above sin and conquered the penalty of sin-death. He died but rose again. He loved us so much that the God of this universe would, in perfection and I love, would take the penalty that we deserve. I mean think about it! If you knew anyone that had no sin in their life, would you think that they would die sacrificially, just for you??? That was the act of which we could receive perfection again. Perfection in Christ Jesus and in Jesus alone. One day God will look upon the earth and see all that he has created, much of which will be destroyed, but will forever see the love and perfection that exists within the hearts of those who received the gift of the Holy Spirit, as written in Acts. Walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit will bring forth witnesses that will increase the Kingdom of God.

To sum up my exploration of these verses, I can say just this. As a follower of Christ, I am a part of his body. My purpose is to live sacrificially by dying to self, allowing the Spirit to live in me. I only have my reputation to worry about, not my life. So I must set aside my selfish ways so God can give people the eternal gift of the Holy Spirit. As hard as I try I cannot accomplish anything that is of my own will. With God all things are possible, and his existence will last forever in the heart of a true believer. Because of the love of God, I have died to self and have attained forever the life he has granted to his followers. I have given up on my life to live for God, but the Spirit has never stopped living for me. It's a relationship. We are there for each other. As I live for Him, He lives for me.